Hello Internet World!

Today is December 29th, almost five years to the day I started this blog.  It also marks the end, for me, of a much-needed social media hiatus. I decided to take some time off after a somewhat brutal 4 months of social media turmoil. I won't bore you with specifics, but suffice it to say that somehow I allowed myself to be deeply affected by the negativity and (in many cases) PURE EVIL of some online interactions that were in my face, daily. These were not posts directed at me. In fact, they had nothing to do with me. But seeing the constant, relentless, mean-spirited nature of some, REALLY impacted me. I tend to live my life in a state of perpetual blindness to evil. I know it exists and I am aware it is out there, but I never choose to give evil power. This time, however, I could feel the weight of their hateful words crushing my spirit and suffocating me. I started to feel like MY own joy was being drained by the sad realization that people could be so cruel to one another. I decided to take some time away (target: 2 weeks) to surround myself with everything and everyone I love, to wipe out the negative energy. And boy, did it WORK! Today is a little shy of the 2 week mark, but I feel energized, enthusiastic, refocused and READY to, once again, use JOY to combat the ills of this world. I have used my break to fill my bucket back up with some serious soul-soothers.

A quick summary:  This break, I...

1. DELIVERED SUPPLIES TO A FAMILY HOMELESS SHELTER. Quinn and Sean and I did this on Christmas Eve. It was a great reminder of how fortunate we are and made me want to volunteer there in the future.

2. ATTENDED OUR ANNUAL "FRIEND-MAS" CELEBRATION WITH OUR VERY BEST FRIENDS. We are lucky to have these people in our lives. These are the "3am, we don't care if you haven't showered or if your house is messy, what can we do?" friends.

3. SIPPED HOT CHOCOLATE, DECORATED MY HOUSE AND TRIED TO SEE THE ZOO LIGHTS (but failed due to the lines- hence the sad faces). 

4.  HAD A WARM, AMAZING CHRISTMAS MORNING AT HOME, EATING OUR ANNUAL BREAKFAST CASSEROLE AND LOVING ON EACH OTHER, AS WE LOVED ON OUR NEW GIFTS.

5. WENT TO MY OUR FAMILIES' HOUSES - one on Christmas Eve and one on Christmas Day, surrounded by people who love and support us.

6.  PLAYED WITH OUR FAVORITE NEW TOYS/GIFTS

(mine being my brand new red dishes and silverware!)

7. ATE DINNER BY CANDLELIGHT DUE TO A MULTIPLE HOUR POWER OUTAGE, WHERE WE ONLY HAD EACH OTHER TO ENTERTAIN US! :)

8. AND THIS WAS IN ADDITION TO MEETING MY FAVORITE CO-WORKERS FOR LUNCH, HAVING A DATE NIGHT WITH AN AWESOME CO-WORKER COUPLE, WINNING OVER $100 AT THE CASINO, SEEING A HIGH SCHOOL BESTIE FOR A LONG OVERDUE LUNCH DATE, SEEING TWO MOVIES IN THE THEATRE, SPENDING AN ENTIRE DAY WATCHING NETFLIX WITH MY HUBBY, AND SPENDING ANOTHER DAY OUTLET SHOPPING.

... My bucket is replenished!

Work Funk Prevention

I don't know about you, but after heading off to work everyday for an extended period of time, I start to notice that I gravitate toward basic staple pieces that I know are easy, comfy and functional. I make it a point to  avoid wearing the same outfit twice all year long, but that sometimes ends up meaning that I just rotate the same pieces over and over in slightly  different ways. I have a full closet of clothes that never get worn because frankly, I'm just not that creative at 5:30 am.

Today, I started putting together pieces I do not wear all that frequently so that when I reach for my favorite khakis for the 3rd time in one week, I have pre-generated ideas I can look at here, to get me out of that rut! This is just a start, but it's a start!

This sweater is very comfy and paired with navy pants, looks cute!

Again, with navy pants, lime green is cute!

 I never wear this shirt with a cute hip bow, and it looks great with navy pants.

 I have always loved yellow with navy pants too. I love my yellow pumps. 

It's a bold shirt, but with orange and navy, it's cute.

I love this green striped blazer and with a pop of red (shoe and necklace), I think it is cute!

I love coral. End of story. And a nude pump goes with anything!

I love navy blue and beige.

Pink and navy is fun.

You can get away with a simple t-shirt if you pair it with a solid capris and some knockout pumps! :)

Same pants, dressier shirt and shoes.

Same pants with sparkly flats.

A printed pant is fun, as long as tyou keep it simple on top!

But simple doesn't mean dull! #hotpink

I bought these pants for 99 cents at JCPenney. Someone thought the black and red checked print was too much, but that someone wasn't me~!

A variety of solid color cropped pants means I should be wearing more variety!

Printed patterns are so fun too.

I like plain pieces with a pop of color!

...like red shoes!

Polka dots. Yes, please.

I'm in love with this printed jacquard skirt. I've had it THREE YEARS and never worn it!

I love baby blue but it also washes me out, so a chunky necklace helps add color.

I like dresses with boots, but this one *might* be too short.

You can't tell me ANYTHING about myself in this high-waisted skirt. I feel like a million bucks!

Love this coral pairing with black and white skirt.

Who doesn't love YOU?

One of my favorite books to read with my classes is the play “FENCES.”

I absolutely love it and look forward to teaching it every year.

The kids love it because it has everything teenagers want in a book – a smart-mouthed teenager who feels disrespected by his father, a grumpy old man who loves dirty jokes and alcohol, and obvious themes of betrayal, deceit and lust. Plus, let’s be honest – it’s short. J

I love it because there is a scene in that book that gets me…every time.

As is true in many teen/parent relationships, Corey (the son) has trouble relating to his father (Troy). The two often struggle even to make pleasant conversation and don’t see eye-to-eye on anything.

In this particular scene, Corey is trying to get his dad to see his point of view and Troy is barely even listening to him – so caught up in his own views and logic, as we parents sometimes do.

At this point in the story, Corey says to his dad, “Can I ask you a question? . … Why you ain’t never liked me?”

Troy, ever the hard-lined old man, blows a gasket. “Like you?” he bellows. “Who the HELL say I got to like you? What law is there that say I got to like you?”

From there, Troy goes into a lengthy lecture about people who have a responsibility to you (i.e. a father’s responsibility to take care of his son), and how it shouldn’t matter who likes you, “as long as they doin’ right by you.”

My students and I always have a profound discussion about this scene. They are quick to explode at Troy.

“What kind of crappy father says that to his son? Poor Corey,” they bemoan. I always let them get their feelings out before I ask this:

“It’s true – a teenager like Corey probably wanted his dad to gush about how much he likes him, but what was the bigger lesson here? What was Troy trying to teach him?”

They never have any problem identifying the bigger message.

“Stop worrying about what other people think of you. Make sure people aren’t taking advantage of you; that is all that matters.”

As I teach this every year, I am always struck by how much I still need to work on this. Even as an adult, I tend to find myself upset or even angry when I feel that someone doesn’t like me. I ponder all the reasons why, whether they are justified, what I can do to change that impression…

This year, God has decided that, in the immortal words of Kevin Hart, I’m “gon learn today!”

This year, I have really been faced with the decision of how much to allow the opinion of others to affect my actions. This is not to say that a whole slew of people have suddenly come out of the woodwork to hate on me. Not at all! I am surrounded with kind, loving people with whom I enjoy spending time and I am constantly uplifted and encouraged. 

But there will always be the opportunity to question myself when I feel someone is undervaluing me, my strengths or my intentions. In those times, I must admit – I sometimes allow their perceptions to affect me.

I think when you are a person like me – someone who is introspective and self-analytical to a FAULT – you grow up believing that whenever someone thinks poorly of you, it must be something you did. It is usually a really great thing to step back and look at yourself and critique your performance. But in this case, it becomes an Achilles. It must ALWAYS be my fault.

This year, I have made the decision that, it’s not.

Sometimes, you know what? It’s THEM.

People who know me well know that I always say, “Nobody has the right to steal your character.” That means that even if others act badly, you have the right, the obligation, to do the right thing, according to your morals and beliefs. Otherwise, you have allowed someone NEGATIVE to pull you right down with them. 

This is no different. As long as I am causing no harm to others and staying true to my spirit, I shouldn’t be worryin’ bout who likes me. I “best be sure they doin’ right by” me.

And you know what? How arrogant to assume that everybody WOULD like me. I’m not perfect. I’m not SO SPECIAL that the WORLD is required to adore me. I’m just like anybody else- with quirks and bad habits and things to improve. People have the right to choose their own circles and I’m not required to be in them. As long as I’m working on being better every day, that’s all I can do. Making mistakes is better than faking perfection.

“What law is there that say I got to like you?” 

None. None whatsoever.